If you haven’t heard by now, our family is expanding, and we will be experiencing an increase in estrogen levels in roughly 18 more weeks. We are having a girl, and I am psychologically preparing. I’m already buried in pink and bows, and we’re only halfway through the pregnancy. “She NEEDS this bow!” “She NEEDS that pink tutu!” “She NEEDS this chandelier!” So many nee…WAIT, WHAT?! This “needs” list just entered a whole new realm. A friend recently shared a word of encouragement and said, “Don’t worry, girls are definitely way more expensive.” Thanks for that. Not helpful.
But let’s get serious for a minute.
Early on, we had a chance to do a blood test to determine gender that would also check for other potential issues for the baby. In the same phone call we found out it was a girl, we also found out there is a 99% chance that she has Turner Syndrome. The googling began pretty quickly after that. In short, Turner Syndrome only affects girls since there is a missing X chromosome. Some traits associated with the syndrome are small stature, heart defects, physical abnormalities, and ovaries that don’t develop so they cannot go through puberty or have children. Any health concern in a child is alarming, but Turner’s is manageable and something we would be ready to face with hormone therapy and a good pediatric endocrinologist. The most alarming statistic, to us, is that a very small percentage (2-5%) of pregnancies with a Turner’s baby make it to birth.
You can imagine how quickly our joy turned to anxiety. Many of our friends and family have already joined us in prayer, and we’ve experienced some exciting updates together. Eden has passed the 20 week mark, and we’ve had two ultrasounds so far. Both ultrasounds showed measurements, weight, and heart anatomy as completely normal. Typically, a Turner’s baby will measure small and sometimes will have a growth that is visible on the neck. Neither of these things are the case. The last ultrasound was so good that the specialist said we did not have to see him again! Thank you to everyone who has been praying. We believe our prayers are being heard, and God is working on our behalf.
With that said, our experience with the specialist has been stuck in my mind. Honestly, it made me sad and angry, on many different levels.
When Eden and I were notified that our baby may have Turner Syndrome we were referred to a specialist. We set the appointment and went in with some uncertainty on what to expect. We had an in-depth ultrasound where we saw some very precious pictures of our baby girl. Here’s one.
After the ultrasound we had a consultation with the doctor. Throughout the entire three and half hours we were in the office, there was a palpable undertone that having an abortion was an option. Seriously.
My daughter just waved at me, and you’re telling me there is the LEGAL possibility that we could “terminate the pregnancy?” I can see her hand, and her face, and her legs, and watch her squirm around trying to avoid the spotlight of the ultrasound camera (apparently, she is a bit ornery too…oh boy.), and we can just end it??
“If that is an option, you would have to decide pretty quickly given the current stage of the pregnancy.”
That was actually said to us.
To the doctor and nurse’s credit, they did not seem very excited about the proposition of terminating the pregnancy, but it felt as if they were forced to offer it as a legitimate option by “the powers that be.” That made it all even more alarming.
Do you want to know how many times this option is offered and ACCEPTED? Well over 3,000 times….A DAY!!!
Look at my daughter again.
Girls and boys like her, waving at us like her, are being killed daily.
Over 3,000 of my daughter’s friends are raising their hands daily saying, “Please, don’t hurt me.”
What are we going to do about it?
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Ah, another political abortion post.” Well, you’re wrong. If you believe that any conversation about abortion boils down to donkeys and elephants, then you are dead wrong. I’m not going to try to convince you one way or the other. All I want you to do is look at the ultrasound pictures of my daughter and consider the fact that it was legal for us to abort at that point in the pregnancy. Just think about that. That’s all. No political ideology. No canned speeches. No “see it my way or you’re wrong.” Just look at the pictures and think about it.
Honestly, this has become all the more real to me because of the option being made available to us directly. We have become so politicized in our culture that nothing seems like real life. We watch it on TV or read about it in our timeline, make a snap judgment and a snide comment, and move on to our Netflix. We alleviate our immediate desire for action with 140 characters, and feel better, so we keep moving along.
I could easily give you more statistics on the demographics of abortion. On the gruesome process of abortion. On the main purveyors of abortion. But all of those things are too intertwined with the politics of the day. All I want you to do is look at my daughter. Look at Selah Violet Cruz, and consider that she is waving at you, and we could have legally ended that wave.
We plan to call her “Selah V.” That’s right, like, “C’est la vie.” It means, “that is life” or “such is life.” After hearing her initial prognosis and chances, and now seeing our prayers being answered, we can’t think of a better name. She IS life. Right now. In her mommy’s belly. Waving, wriggling, kicking, breathing.
She. Is. Life.
How could we allow that to be taken away?